Depression

Shitting Bricks: Launching the show at The Duke

Shitting Bricks: Launching the show at The Duke

Neath…I am coming… I’ll be honest, I almost cancelled the gig. It’s been a busy few weeks – busier than I’ve been in a while – with a lot of travel, a funeral, lots of bullshit admin stuff to do for the jobs and income […]

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Edinburgh Fringe 2019, and beyond…

Edinburgh Fringe 2019, and beyond…

I’ve never ‘done Edinburgh’- not the whole run with a proper show with posters and shit. I want a poster. Just once. I’ve been up to Edinburgh, of course, once in 2006 for the semi-finals of So You Think You’re Funny? And once in 2007, […]

The Black-Eyed Boy In The Cave…

The Black-Eyed Boy In The Cave…

Note: I think this is some kind of attempt at putting into words a thing I experience frequently during counselling, while doing self-analysis, or while meditating. Fuck knows, if I’m honest… Black sky; rain-slicked, slate-sheet cliffs. A damning, judgemental storm, more intense than recent, oppressive. […]

Sleep. At last, real progress…

Sleep. At last, real progress…

I don’t sleep – and not sleeping is dangerous. If, for whatever reason, you are suffering from insomnia or have been struggling with sleep issues for a while then please get professional help as soon as you possibly can. I can’t remember the last decent […]

Meet The Packers…

Meet The Packers…

My CV looks like the CV of a man with depression: fifteen jobs in the seventeen years between graduating in 2000 and my redundancy and subsequent depression relapse in 2017 – a relapse I am still recovering from. Consider also that my first job – […]

I’ve been there…

I’ve been there…

Trigger Warning: This is what I’ve started to call a ‘testimony post‘ where I share my experiences of life on the road, life with depression, anxiety and self-esteem and anger issues. Can be sometimes graphic and/or sweary/controversial. Will be tagged/hashtagged ‘Testimony’.

Eighteen seconds into episode one of the US sit-com “Maron”, the titular stand-up comedian, podcaster, writer and actor declares: “A few years ago, I was planning on killing myself in my garage and now I’m doing the best thing I’ve ever done in my life in that same garage.”

I know the feeling…

Black Dog Moan…

Black Dog Moan…

Back in 2012, after my initial diagnosis, I started an anonymous blog. Some helpful fucker told me it would help so I called it Black Dog Moan, after a Sam Jackon movie, and fully intended to write regularly, detailing the ‘daily strugs’ of a comedian […]

The Big One…The Black Dog

The Big One…The Black Dog

This is the post I’ve been putting off writing for six years. I’ve been writing it since Monday. I’ve written and re-written it so many times that my trash now has more drafts of this post than emails offering me Viagra. It won’t be what […]